Monday, May 14

Undeserving

It's been a good week around here.  And just when I think it can't get much better, it does.  Marathon PR. Finley's party featured on Amy Atlas. Braden's party was inexplicably and randomly pinned by Sherry from YHL (what?!?). A great week of sales from our Etsy promo. And then--I got a part time job I thought I was underqualified for. Next year, for 10 hours a week I'll be assigned a school and will be mentoring first year teachers there--the absolute perfect job for me for next year!  Top that off with a lovely Mother's Day with my family and my birthday on Thursday--I'm feeling pretty blessed.  Beyond blessed--I feel undeserving of all the good in my life.



Real talk: While I was getting my Mother's Day pedicure, I was cruising through the internet on the old iPad. I kind of fell into a sad corner of the internet--inspiring blogs of strong mothers who have lost their children, patient women waiting for their children, women who have lost their mothers and gracious mothers of children with special needs.  And my heart was broken and I just had the strange feeling in my soul of how undeserving I am of these two lovely, healthy boys.  How unfair it is that some babies are born sick--or how some babies don't have mothers at all. I was reminded of how very little room I have to complain about anything at all. I know that I'm blessed--but I don't think the other mothers feel any less blessed.  Just as I know I wouldn't feel any less blessed if the boys were any different than they are.  I just love them because they are mine.

(I was especially struck by this lovely post--I think it speaks some good truth about focusing less on the trivial parts of raising children and focusing on the children who are motherless.)



So those are my not-really-uplifting thoughts on Mother's Day this year. I'm so very happy and feel so very blessed with our lot in life--but can't help but feel very underserving what we have. I suppose that's exactly what God's grace is--having what we most certainly do not deserve.  So hug the moms that you know next time you see them and the women who will be moms some day. Or hug anyone who has a mom.  So I guess just hug everybody all the time.  That's good advice, right? Maybe no hugging strangers unless they look friendly. And while I'm telling you what to do, be grateful for what you have! Praise the Lord, people.



I love these boys. I'm so glad they've made me a mother. And look, almost all three of us smiling.  The best present I could have asked for.

8 comments:

  1. Your post reminded me of something said to me when I was a young mother. "Your children are on loan from you from God for you to care for and teach." They are wonderful gifts.

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  2. I was trying to write a post like this and can't get the words in the right order. I love that minivan post.

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  3. I second this blog Rachel. I never feel deserving of this wonderful chubby baby.

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  4. Aw, Rachel this was a great post. Your boys are beautiful! And you're right; we need to be grateful for what we do have! :)

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  5. Amen, Rach. Happy Mother's Day, friend.

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  6. One time we had a sleepover at Victoria's house and you counted your blessings. Somewhere in there you counted your limbs. You were grateful that your arms and legs were not missing. So, I've always considered you someone who can be pretty grateful about anything. That's awesome.

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  7. Aw! Make me cry on party day why don't you! Puffy eyes at the party will be all your fault!

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