Wednesday, October 19

Accepting Help

Today I decided to go to the gym and take the kids to the gym childcare. For the first time since Braden was born. Ambitious! It's a little rainy today and I felt like swimming instead of running.  I talked it up on the way there and got Finley pretty excited.  Unfortunately, when we got there, the childcare was closing.  Apparently I should have check the childcare hours.... whoops.  So instead of working out, we went and had Chipotle.  Yes, I realize Chipotle is pretty much the opposite of exercise.

I moved my car to the other parking garage and lugged the car seat and Finley though the lot.  We stood in line and ordered our tacos.  Finley was so good and Braden sweetly made googly eyes at the ladies behind us.  As I was paying, one of the ladies told me I had beautiful boys.  I puffed up with pride a little and told her thank you.  We made small talk about having boys and then she offered to help me carry my tray to my table.

And I hesitated a little--I really didn't want help.  I'm not sure how I was planning to get a two year old, a carseat and a tray of food over to a table. Not to mention finding a high chair and (the horror!) filling my own drink.  Even though I didn't want to, I graciously accepted the sweet lady's offer to carry my tray... and then fill my drink... and get us utensils.

Why was that so hard for me?  Just last night Vic and I were talking about accepting help--and how hard it is to ask for help and accept help when it's offered.  When we went to Whole Foods yesterday, I finally accepted the checker's offer to help me to my car--I have no idea why I always refuse to let them help me.  It's like I think I'm on some hidden camera show and I'm going to win an award for multitasking.  Um, no Rachel, let the nice people help you.  Public confession time: I can't do it all by myself.

I'm so glad I let her help us--I'm glad she had the opportunity to bless us, and that I was able to allow ourselves to be blessed by her help.  A little humbled and very grateful, Finley and I enjoyed our tacos.

And Braden, the sweetest most patient baby that I've ever birthed, sat under the table and played with the only toy I had for him, my running watch.

Mom of the year! (Also, cell phone photography is not my forte.  Please Instagram, I need you for the Droid.)

Moral of the story: let people help you.  Everybody wins.


  1. It is so hard to accept and ask for help. Maybe it's a pride thing? I'm really bad at it too.

    Thanks for sharing your fun story about how you actually accepted help twice...

  2. In a related note, it's hard as a single lady too. Sometimes there is stuff I think I should be able to do on my own. I should be able to fix the drain and the windows that don't latch. And sometimes I get stuck on who the correct person is to ask for help. Like I think I need to ask a dude, and really, Abbey can help me carry the mini fridge down the stairs.

  3. In the words of my father (when I decline his help) - "why do you insist on denying me the pleasure/blessing of helping you". Good post Rachel!

  4. Great post and so true! It is hard to ask for and accept help. I'm horrible at it! I had surgery last month and was out for a week and even the day after surgery I had a hard time asking my husband for help. It's important to realize we can't do it all ourselves and it's ok to ask for help. Love this post!

  5. This post really made me think. I do the same thing - at the grocery store, for example. I'm pretty sure the employee is employed in order to assist customers. Why don't I ever accept an offer for help? Hmm.

    Food for thought.

  6. dude, this is so true. moms are stupid sometimes. ha.

    and i'm liking these introspective posts.

  7. My mom recently heard Big Bird (the person) speak and he told this story. I thought of your post. He was walking down the street one night and saw an older gentleman standing on the corner. The man looked uneasy and Big Bird (the person) thought he might be drunk and was going to pass by. Then he stopped and decided to ask if the man was alright or needed assistance. The older gentleman was so grateful, not at all intoxicated, and explained that he lived just across the street. He was afraid to cross though. With the sleeting weather and icy road he was worried he might fall in the middle of the street. So Big Bird (the person) helped him across. When he was done he went back to the Sesame Street folks and said they had to teach about COMPASSION. Giving help and accepting help is a good thing. It allows compassion to grow and the world could always use a bit more of that.


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